March 21, 2008

DW

It's kind of ironic how, while living in one of the world's most heterogeneous cities, my dating patterns have been completely homogeneous.

Posted by Charlie at 01:04 PM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2007

Meta

Damn, that Meta Serif typeface is sure sexy.

Posted by Charlie at 06:47 PM | Comments (0)

December 03, 2007

Asian Surgery

I came across this ad in my Gmail account today, and I thought it was funny so I'm posting it up here:

Posted by Charlie at 12:29 PM | Comments (0)

December 01, 2007

Score One For The Team

Ooooh Phillip Lim is sticky!

Posted by Charlie at 04:16 AM | Comments (0)

October 16, 2007

A Prelude to Drama

I think I may have just shot myself in the foot... again.

Posted by Charlie at 05:47 PM | Comments (0)

August 06, 2007

The Boy on the Roof

Posted by Charlie at 09:30 PM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2007

At Misshapes

Posted by Charlie at 09:58 PM | Comments (0)

June 07, 2007

Reason #20 Why I Like Where I Work

There aren't many places out there where you can send out a company-wide email asking if anyone knows the best swingers clubs in New York City are.

Posted by Charlie at 06:28 PM | Comments (0)

May 08, 2007

Wha...?

Is it really self-defeating to actively pursue relationships for the sake of being in a relationship?

Posted by Charlie at 05:15 PM | Comments (1)

April 27, 2007

"D" is for Dick

Butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings, or caffeine high? I can't tell the difference.

Posted by Charlie at 05:26 PM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2007

A Black Tie Affair

Anyone out there know of any good names in tuxedo design, and what the current style trend of tuxes are these days? I'm going to my first black tie in like forever and I don't think the tuxedo I have from my prepubescent days is going to fit me. Some names I can think up of include Prada, Zegna and Dior.

Posted by Charlie at 11:13 AM | Comments (1)

April 01, 2007

Hmmm...

I haven't been writing in this journal lately, which is not to imply that I don't have anything to write about. On the contrary, I've been going through a million different things in my life, which have been at times overwhelming to point of a nervous breakdown, but things are slowly starting to settle nicely. And, once life becomes a little tamer I can finally reflect my experiences in a healthy, objective manner.

Posted by Charlie at 11:22 PM | Comments (0)

March 26, 2007

Looking at Moving... Again

I love Flushing! It's just like Chinatown, except without all the stupid white tourists pointing their cameras at the old praying Chinese women.

Posted by Charlie at 01:14 AM | Comments (0)

March 11, 2007

エネルギーフロー

Posted by Charlie at 11:50 PM | Comments (0)

March 04, 2007

Political Discourse

You know, even though I really wish Ann Coulter would just shut her mouth when it comes to sharing her values and opinions, I think I would have the best time if I were to shoot the shit with that bitch. She sounds like she could be fun to get drunk with.

Posted by Charlie at 11:49 AM

February 24, 2007

Punks

Don't you just hate having to explain what your ethnic makeup is, every time you're meeting someone for the first time? Especially if you don't really know or really care what that makeup is? I for one am.

Posted by Charlie at 07:18 PM | Comments (0)

Poo

I hate being friends with rice queens because they have the hottest Asian friends, all of whom go ga-ga over white guys and not their fellow brethren... poo. It really is like being a diabetic in a candy store.

Posted by Charlie at 02:09 AM | Comments (0)

February 09, 2007

A Platoon of Lesbians

For some reason, the military seems more afraid of gay people than they are of terrorists. If the terrorists ever got a hold of this information, they’d get a platoon of lesbians to chase us out of Baghdad.

~Rep. Gary Ackerman, D-New York

Posted by Charlie at 05:57 PM | Comments (0)

February 04, 2007

A Missed Opportunity

Damn. I just missed the Playgirl Party. I have to check my email more often.

Posted by Charlie at 08:59 PM | Comments (0)

January 09, 2007

Communication Without Words

Thank god for Skype.

Posted by Charlie at 01:37 AM | Comments (0)

December 24, 2006

Language Barriers

When my friend Cat went to Japan for a year to teach English, one of the many people she befriended was a mobile phone designer for Docomo who had a penchant for smoking pot everyday. They became fast friends, and although Cat was knowledgeable in Japanese, they continued to communicate through their electronic dictionaries. They were rather an amusing sight; two wandering souls smoking pot until 4 in the morning and talking through their Japanese dictionaries.

Cat's story becomes painfully clear to me as I begin to embark in a relationship that still doesn't have a clear title. Are we dating? Are we monogamous? Is this just fun? I am not sure. We haven't discussed this yet, nor do I see us doing so anytime soon; he is leaving to go home for a full month in just a few days.

Relationship questions aside, he's been an extreme comfort during these lonely holiday nights, and as the snow starts to fall you'll be seeing us at the dining table with our dictionaries in front of us.

Posted by Charlie at 06:40 PM | Comments (0)

December 22, 2006

Silence

It's quiet in the apartment.

Posted by Charlie at 04:41 PM | Comments (0)

December 11, 2006

Him

He's been all across Europe and North America; he speaks several different languages, but not very well; he has a weak stomach so he prefers to not eat during the nighttime; he prefers Mozart over Bach, musicals over operas; he has a fear of mice; he cooks Italian but not Japanese; he can't stop laughing when he's drunk; he likes to hold your hand, but is shy doing so in public; he likes to tap out a song on your back like a true pianist; his sweat tastes sweet; his face breaks out into the goofiest grin when he stares at you, and he is always grinning...

Posted by Charlie at 12:59 AM | Comments (0)

December 06, 2006

2AM

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

~Calvin and Hobbes

Posted by Charlie at 01:40 AM

December 03, 2006

High Contrast... It's Cool!

Wow... Japanese guys can be surprisingly amazing kissers. Yum.

Posted by Charlie at 03:15 AM | Comments (0)

November 28, 2006

I Can't Be Cool

Posted by Charlie at 10:15 PM | Comments (0)

November 04, 2006

Milestones

...what I would do to take everything back. Or to remember that nothing had ever happened. People celebrate the anniversaries of their birthdays and wedding dates, but do they ever celebrate the day they... they... ahhh FUCK.

Posted by Charlie at 12:35 AM | Comments (0)

October 19, 2006

You Date One Asian Guy...

...you date them all. Much like those working in fashion or interior design, the gay Asian community here in New York City represent a very cliquey and incestuous coterie of guys who devote, in my view at least, a great deal of their energy gossiping about each other. Although I'm pretty much a member by default, I still feel like I'm an outsider observing an exclusive fraternity that I can never get into, as much as I try to. I'm very much turned-off by the idea of being the subject of hearsay, and although this is very superficial of me to admit, I rather like being a creature of mystery. I realize as I'm writing this entry I'm probably projecting some vented frustrations in order to mask the hidden inner meaning of my message: that I'm most likely jealous of their brotherly friendships and camaraderie.

Posted by Charlie at 12:03 AM | Comments (0)

October 12, 2006

Bliss Shock Therapy

I recently stumbled upon what I consider to be the most intense and wonderful body wash for the senses. Shock Therapy from Bliss has a wonderful mint aroma that will energize the half-awake, and since I'm still trying to program my body to get up at a much earlier hour, taking morning showers have definitely been a helping grace.

Posted by Charlie at 05:47 PM | Comments (0)

A Nathaniel Hawthorne Moment

It's 5AM and I can't sleep because I went to bed at 9PM last night thinking that I would be getting a full night's rest but I woke up an hour later and now after seven hours and reviewing CSS and getting a head start on my next web project I still can't bring myself to close my eyes. I'm on the verge of deliriousness and quite frankly I'm basking in it because I feel as if I'm on a creative high and states like that don't come to me as often these days as I'm too precariously engrossed with this city and the current happenings of my life and although that statement does in retrospect sound a bit oxymoronic I'm gonna keep tying away because I'm too lazy to edit. Thank goodness for YouTube. I'm catching up on my Rainbow Brite episodes as I write this. I wonder why the gay community never did take up Rainbow Brite as their unofficial mascot while proudly trumpeting one of those Teletubbies as one of their own and I say 'their' because I am officially stating here that I am not associating myself with anyone who declares a purple alien with a triangular hairpiece as the logotype for their sexual orientation. That's just not right. Anyway back to the movie. Rainbow Brite is off gathering Star Sprinkles or some shit like that and I need to see what happens next. And I think Rainbow Brite would make a kick-ass gay icon.

Posted by Charlie at 04:56 AM | Comments (0)

September 25, 2006

Freaks

Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats.

~Diane Arbus

Posted by Charlie at 02:21 AM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2006

Perfection Revisited

Posted by Charlie at 06:39 PM | Comments (0)

September 06, 2006

Ass Master

I bought a huge mirror from IKEA for my bedroom for the sole purpose of being able to check out the shaping of my ass as I go through walking up seven flights of stairs over the months, and so far the results have been nothing short of amazing. Just yesterday I found a new cleft on my lower back/upper buttocks that gave it a better impression of being like two round peaches. Give me two-months' time and I will be able to bounce quarters off of my ass.

Posted by Charlie at 02:48 PM | Comments (0)

August 31, 2006

Impulse "Vacation"

I suddenly have the urge to fly back home to take care of some half-unfinished business.

Posted by Charlie at 02:45 PM | Comments (2)

Moment's Memory

Fleeting, unattainable.

Posted by Charlie at 02:09 PM

August 29, 2006

I Really Want To Be With You

"You know, I had the biggest crush on you for the longest time. I miss you."
"You don't miss me. You miss your mouth around my cock."
"True."

Posted by Charlie at 03:15 PM | Comments (0)

August 25, 2006

Favorite Quote of the Day

"I come from a long line of very open-minded lovers."

~Ann Curry (who is of French, Dutch, Irish, South American Indian and Japanese descent)

Posted by Charlie at 12:49 PM | Comments (0)

August 22, 2006

Chinatown

I walk out the front door of my apartment, and everywhere there are reflections of my past and visions of my future: little kids with their Gameboys running alongside aging immigrants with their walking sticks. My six-foot frame sticks out among the crowd like a sore thumb, and if I hop into the bakery for some pork buns the ladies there try to converse with me in Cantonese, a language my mother forgot to teach me growing up. Although I was hardly raised in this sort of environment growing up—my parents are very much multicultural—Chinatown feels strangely comforting and homey. I feel as though I am in a Wong Kar-Wai movie.

Posted by Charlie at 10:27 AM | Comments (0)

August 07, 2006

Happy.Ness

Happy people are characterized by the belief that they are able to control their situation. Unhappy people tend to believe that they are a toy of fate.

Posted by Charlie at 02:14 PM | Comments (0)

July 24, 2006

My Mom Emailed Me This Today

My mom knows I'm kinda going through a rough patch at the moment, so she emailed me this:

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

My heart melted just a little bit after reading this.

Posted by Charlie at 11:45 PM | Comments (1)

July 23, 2006

Seaglopur

James No. 2 believes in reincarnation. I am still questioning whether or not I do, but if I did, there is no question that in my previous life I was my grandfather. My marks prove it.

Posted by Charlie at 12:42 PM | Comments (0)

July 20, 2006

Asian Fusion

On warm sunny days I am part-Black, says so my Black friends. On winter days my extended family thinks I'm part-white. My dad likes to joke that I was sired by the neighborhood milkman. I've heard this story so many times, I'm starting to wonder if it's true; I was an 'accident' after all. Most of my friends back in high school thought I was Japanese for some reason. The Filipinos claim me as one of their own. I feel like my Thai relatives are exotically praising me when they compliment me on my white skin. A work colleague at my previous job befriended me because she initially thought I was the same ethnic makeup as her, Filipina/Italian. I know there are guys out there who would love to be in my shoes—a recent Fridae profile browsing has confirmed this—but there are many days where I wonder what it would be like to look, you know, mono-ethnic.

Posted by Charlie at 10:04 PM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2006

...Yeah...

Do you know how hard it is for me to lose my cool? It's really hard. Even in the face of the greatest adversary I can usually hold my ground with calmness and collectiveness. I attribute this quality of my personality to the fact that I did not grow up in the most emotive and affectionate of environments. Much of my childhood and adolescence consisted of daily fights between me and my parents, and I've pretty much mastered the not-so-very-desirable ability to project myself out of a conflict and just be... Zen. Coolness is second nature to me.

However, during the moments when I do lose my cool, I become a bumbling idiot. I say things I don't really mean and this exposed, vulnerable side of me becomes so painfully visible. Most times I resent it, but last night I embraced it. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop smiling on the way home. Butterflies? Reckless hope? A lost cause? Who knows.

Posted by Charlie at 02:00 PM | Comments (0)

July 16, 2006

The JMZ Line

The L Train is once again going under construction, which means I will be relying on the JMZ line to get into the city during the weekends. This isn't so bad now since I have been using that line to get to work—a 15-minute commute!—but I am now rethinking about how I feel about staying in Williamsburg. The ideal location here, I think, would be between the first stops of the L and the JMZ. It's near the water and has a fantastic view of Manhattan, a short walk to the cheap restaurants and pretentious hipness, and is relatively quiet and clean. Now that would be a good location. I dunno why I'm writing about this... just killing time to get over this stupid hangover I guess.

Posted by Charlie at 01:41 PM | Comments (0)

July 13, 2006

Na.Ka.Ma

Posted by Charlie at 12:02 PM | Comments (0)

July 06, 2006

I.TSU.KA.

Posted by Charlie at 02:16 PM

June 19, 2006

My Alarm Clock

I love waking up to dogs sitting on your chest and licking your face.

Posted by Charlie at 08:52 PM | Comments (2)

June 17, 2006

Racial Dynamics Presented in Dating Conventions

Everytime two Asian guys come together for that informal romantic engagement also known as a first date, one question almost always seem to come up:

"So, do you like Asian guys or white guys?"

This question came up in virtually every single date I've been on in my life—even on dates with non-Asian guys—and quite frankly I'm getting sick of it. Are we so considered undesirable in this society that we have to reaffirm to each other whether or not we like other Asian men? I think this is sad. A question like this will probably not come up during a date with two white, Latino or Black guys.

Posted by Charlie at 02:56 PM

June 07, 2006

The Cat in the Box

Posted by Charlie at 03:56 PM | Comments (0)

June 06, 2006

I'm Trying, Really I Am

"What happens to people who open their hearts?"

"They get better."

Posted by Charlie at 09:57 AM | Comments (0)

May 30, 2006

Visionary

"I am a deeply superficial person."

~Andy Warhol

Posted by Charlie at 12:18 PM | Comments (2)

May 23, 2006

Like All Great Things...

There is a romantic notion of meeting someone very awesome and wonderful and spending most of your waking life with them, all the while knowing that sooner or later you must part with them whether you like it or not. It's like globe-trotting to some foreign country and coming across a great travelling companion: You experience new things together, learn more of each other, from each other, but by the end of the trip you end up going back to your respective homes and lives. A honeymoon, without the first date or engagement period.

My life is very much like that.

I often wonder about those who I've come across; I hope those who are far away from me are doing well, wherever they are.

Posted by Charlie at 12:33 PM | Comments (0)

May 21, 2006

M-I-C-K-E-Y

Happy dogs have the ability to melt the coldness in my heart like no other.

Posted by Charlie at 07:56 PM | Comments (0)

May 19, 2006

Beyond Good And Evil

At these turning points in history there shows itself, juxtaposed and often entangled with one another, a magnificent, manifold, jungle-like growing and striving, a sort of tropical tempo in rivalry of development, and an enormous destruction and self-destruction, thanks to egoisms violently opposed to one another, exploding, battling each other for sun and light, unable to find any limitation, any check, any considerateness within the morality of their disposal...

~Nietzsche

Posted by Charlie at 12:20 AM | Comments (0)

May 17, 2006

眠そう

疲れた！体が痛む。ね、ウォンカさん、遊ぼうか？遊ぼうか？

Posted by Charlie at 02:33 PM

May 14, 2006

The Musing of Hairy Legs

My father once told me to NEVER shave my legs because, as he puts it, men who have plenty of hair on their legs are destined to become rich someday. Not that I have an incentive to out and get smooth legs, and not that my legs were very hairy to begin with, but imagine my surprise this evening when I started noticing that some of my leg hairs have somehow FALLEN off, as if they've gotten too exhausted to hang on and decided to just let go. I counted quite a number tonight; does that mean that I'm destined to not become wealthy someday? Ah, the incongruity of Asian superstitions.

Posted by Charlie at 10:23 PM | Comments (0)

May 13, 2006

くそ食らえ！

だが、俺は未だ彼を。チェ！

Posted by Charlie at 12:28 PM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2006

「アート」

最新のものが見たい。それは少しでも先の未来を知りたいから。一目見ただけだと分からないことでも直感が動く瞬間。それを「アート」と呼んで来た。

Posted by Charlie at 12:37 AM | Comments (0)

May 04, 2006

*********

A kiss is the best send-off to a good night's sleep. Been missing some of those these days.

Posted by Charlie at 11:24 AM | Comments (0)

(Re)Designing Oneself

I'm taking relationship advice from Mr. Rashid, and surprisingly I'm learning a lot from him. I'm not a fan of his works really, but I do admire his philosophies.

Posted by Charlie at 10:08 AM

May 01, 2006

Massssage?

For the past several visits my hairstylist has taken the habit of giving me a ten-minute massage everytime I go in to see her. Not just a head massage during the shampooing and rinsing--I mean a full-on, neck/shoulder/upper/lower back kind of massage. It feels really good, and I want to enjoy it, but what kind of hairstylist provides this kind of service? My emotions are conflicted: I'm sitting in the chair, staring at myself in the mirror going, "should I express reactions of approvement and pleasure? Do the other people waiting for their haircuts get a complimentary massage as well?" Not knowing how to react, I end up sitting stiff and more rigid than before I sat in the chair. I hope I'm not the only one who is getting this kind of treatment; it would be weird if I was.

Posted by Charlie at 10:00 PM | Comments (2)

April 29, 2006

Saturday Afternoon

I AM: spending a sunny Saturday afternoon recuperating.

I WANT: a plane ticket to Tibet.

I WISH: for love.

I HATE: nothing.

I MISS: the days when it was colder.

I HEAR: Imogen Heap, Hide and Seek.

I WONDER: if he really likes me?

I REGRET: a few things, here and there.

I AM NOT: attainable.

I DANCE: when everyone's watching.

I SING: with my head held high.

I CRY: whenever I'm happy. And sad.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: open with my feelings.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: history.

I WRITE: to articulate what I'm feeling and going through.

I CONFUSE: lust with love.

I NEED: a nice long hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I SHOULD: stop being a fucking crybaby.

I START: things without thinking about them.

I FINISH: my meals with several hearty and throaty burps.

I TAG: my one-night stands with pet names to use for storytelling to friends.

Posted by Charlie at 03:44 PM | Comments (0)

April 27, 2006

Thursday Afternoon

Life is, for the most part, good. It's funny how much exciting your everyday affairs become when you don't have the time to write about it, on paper--or in this instance, on screen. These days every time I sit down to write an entry I find myself with writer's block--not because I don't have anything to write about, but because I understand that this blog, as a public forum, will eventually reach the eyes and ears of certain individuals that I would rather not have them subjected to.

I'm finding it harder to be more honest in my entries--at least on this blog anyway--leaning more and more upon semi-witty and semi-funny stories that mask the true feelings I have. It was a lot easier when I was under the Xanga and Typepad umbrella, under an assumed synonym. It was easier to bitch and moan and cry and praise and detail every bit of your life when readers didn't know your true identity, but now that this blog has my name attached to it, I can't be as liberal in my writings as I once was. My words can and will affect certain individuals and people--whether for good or bad--and my personal relationships with them (outside this online universe) can be affected. I find it ironic because I initially moved my blog to this site because I wanted to be more open, with myself and with the public audience. I'm starting to shed off my various online identities, and ironically my social life is starting to come alive again. Goodbye, Friendster. Goodbye, Downelink.

Life is, for the most part, good.

Posted by Charlie at 08:13 PM | Comments (1)

April 24, 2006

Underground Man

"You gentlemen perhaps think I am mad? Allow me to defend myself. I agree that man is preeminently a creative animal, predestined to consciously strive toward a goal, and to engage in engineering, that is, eternally and incessantly, to build new roads, wherever they may lead... Man loves to create roads, that is beyond dispute. But... may it not be... that he is instinctively afraid of attaining his goal and completing the edifice he is constructing? How do you know, perhaps he only likes the edifice from a distance and not at all at a close range, perhaps he only likes to build it, and does not want to live in it."

~Dostroevsky

Posted by Charlie at 12:45 PM | Comments (0)

April 20, 2006

I'm Double-A Thinking Triple-X

Slowly settling... but not quite there yet.

Posted by Charlie at 01:50 PM | Comments (0)

April 19, 2006

It's Time

It's now or never, babe. You know what I'm talking about. Uh huh. Who you gonna pick?

Posted by Charlie at 12:12 AM | Comments (0)

April 09, 2006

Never Stop Dreaming

You can never have a Plan B. You can never have a fallback plan. Those who do are never going to realize their full potential, because they can just say, "...well, if it doesn't work out..."

Posted by Charlie at 11:04 AM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2006

Designed-Out

I am pooped!

Posted by Charlie at 11:51 AM | Comments (0)

April 05, 2006

You Had Me at Piercing

Fuck, why am I always a sucker for a bad boi?! I'm gonna have to let him down gently... this is getting way too fast.

Posted by Charlie at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)

April 02, 2006

"Fucking Couples"

Brian and I coined the term "Fucking Couples" last summer, but now that he's happily occupied in a relationship it's up to me to carry on the torch. Today was the most glorious day, replete with sunshine and warm weather and ice cream cones. I was reading a new book on a park bench today, and it seemed like everyone was out with their respective partners, hand in hand, smooching off of each other like there was no tomorrow. What the fuck is going on? What is it about the warm spring weather that drives people to partner up with one another? This male couple was obnoxiously making out on the bench next to mine, and I just wanted to go over there and slap the back of their heads. *sigh* I guess I just miss that feeling of being loved. Poo. Fucking couples!

Posted by Charlie at 10:32 PM | Comments (0)

March 29, 2006

Which One Are You?

1) Pluralists = Mutual Cooperation
2) Nationalists = Foreign Nationals
3) Individualists = Self-Realization
4) Assimilationists = "Americanization"

Posted by Charlie at 03:09 AM | Comments (0)

March 25, 2006

Spinning Around

My mind's going in circles. In circles, I tells ya!

Posted by Charlie at 09:29 PM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2006

Are We Having a Conversation Yet? The Art of Being Laconic

We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those who find us boring.

~La Rochefoucauld

Posted by Charlie at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)

March 17, 2006

My Niche?

Ummm... yeah. It's a little disheartening how much in common I have with all those Condé Nast people.

Posted by Charlie at 12:59 AM | Comments (0)

March 06, 2006

Exoneration of All Charges!!!

Ahahaha!!! I am vindicated!!!

Posted by Charlie at 01:20 PM | Comments (0)

March 02, 2006

Brokeback My Ass

Sometimes I wonder if all of the Brokeback Mountain movie parodies floating around the web is just another subtle, unconscious expression of homophobia. I mean, they're all just so gay.

Posted by Charlie at 09:46 PM | Comments (1)

February 24, 2006

Two Weeks in a Row

Wow, he must really like me if he keeps coming back.

Posted by Charlie at 10:24 PM | Comments (1)

Break Time

I feel a spontaneous plane ticket purchase coming on.

Posted by Charlie at 08:56 AM | Comments (0)

February 21, 2006

Of Clean Butts and Such

After one interesting conversation over dinner last night I've been thinking more about getting a colonic. Colon hydrotherapy, as it's known more officially, stimulates peristalsis, breaks down hardened fecal matter, and purge parasites from your system. In other words, they stick a tube up your poop chute and you get to watch as fifteen gallons of water flushes out what remains of last year's Thanksgiving dinner. Where do I sign up!

An advantage to living in a big city in New York is all the choices of spas and centers that offer it. Should I go to Paul Labrecque? Great Jones Spa offers colonics with aromatherapy-infused hot-towel massages, which sounds like a good deal to me. Or maybe Artisan Spa, with their complimentary tea bar? The choices are almost limitless.

It's not that my colon is in dire need of a cleaning (although probably so since I've never had a colonic before) so much as I'm just curious as to how the process works.

More to come...

Posted by Charlie at 10:11 PM | Comments (1)

February 08, 2006

Death & Politics

I find it a little ironic that Coretta Scott King’s death came at a time when the Bush administration is dodging criticism about the NSA’s spying program, especially since when Martin Luther King was alive he was the target of multiple spying operations, notably by Kennedy and Hoover.

Posted by Charlie at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)

February 05, 2006

Shhhhh...

Gossip is the lowest form of discourse.

~Jacqueline Bisset

Posted by Charlie at 02:17 AM | Comments (0)

February 01, 2006

Underground Cities

Had dinner with some urban planners the other night. The topic of conversation shifted to homelessness and the transients in New York City. According to statistics, the estimated number of homeless people in New York City is at its highest ever since the surveying has begun, however many years ago. Of course, this number is most likely greatly underestimated since it would be impossible to tag every single homeless person in New York, and so a huge percentage of transients go unaccounted for.

But here's the real issue that perplexes me. Ever since I've arrived here--although not until recently have I consciously acknowledged it--I haven't seen a lot of homeless people here. In Seattle I wound encounter more panhandlers while walking down Broadway on Capitol Hill than I would in one entire month here. The neighborhoods in Manhattan have cleaned up in the past ten, twenty years, or they are currently in the process of cleaning up (read: gentrification). Times Square is now New York's take on Disney Land; the East Village now houses hipsters living off their trust funds; Hell's Kitchen is becoming the next Chelsea. And through all of this urban transformation, the surveys still state that the number of transients is at its highest.

Maybe I'm wandering in the wrong neighborhoods, but where did they go?

Posted by Charlie at 01:26 PM | Comments (1)

January 17, 2006

New York, New York

The first time I ever visited New York was over ten years ago, when I was fourteen. I came over with my parents, sister, and cousin, and we stayed at a hotel near Times Square. Back then Times Square was not yet Disney-fied by Giuliani, and thus our hotel was not one would call ‘luxurious.’ There were cracks in the walls, it stank of smoke, and sometimes we would spy a roach scampering across the floor. Times Square was crowded, even more so than today, and it was grittier: I remember street vendors showcasing fake Rolexes in briefcases, only to quickly disappear within the throng of tourists as soon as a police officer was sighted nearby.

It was a fascinating experience, something totally detached from the relative slow-pace-ness of Seattle, and I loved every moment of it. I wanted to be a part of it.

Well, ten years later I’m back in Times Square, at my cubicle overlooking the chaos of advertisements and tourists, and it still has yet to hit me that I’m here. For some reason I still feel like I am on vacation from Seattle, and that at any time now I’ll soon be on an airplane back home with my clothes and stories. It’s all very detached still, this new experience, and because I still feel very transitory I am not necessarily homesick yet.

I’ve fantasized a lot about what my life would be like in the Big Apple, but I never did idealize what the city itself would be like: I knew coming here I would be making a lot of financial sacrifices, relinquishing any form of personal transportation, and be living in a city where I knew almost no one. New York City is a dirty, stinky, noisy, and violent place, I know that, but at the same time no other city in the US has the abundance of culture, music, art, food, and language that New York City does. For those reasons alone, I love it here.

Posted by Charlie at 02:58 PM | Comments (0)

January 03, 2006

Chow Chow

As I’m slowly discovering all the nooks and crannies of this city I’m amazed at the constant quality in the cuisine in almost every place I’ve dined at. One of the many reasons that I love about living in New York City is the abundance and variety of foods that one can easily get access to. New Yorkers love to eat, and they love eating out even more. And it shows: there are more restaurants, cafes, food carts, bistros, and eateries here than there are single women at last call at a gay bar. Even within two blocks of my apartment, one can count a total of ten restaurants, a bakery, and three supermarkets. While really good food and be had anywhere if you look hard enough for it, here in New York it’s practically right outside your doorstep.

Posted by Charlie at 03:41 PM | Comments (0)

December 29, 2005

Blech.

I need to go dancing. I haven't gone to clubbing since Seattle, and since dancing is my only outlet of exercise these days, my body is once again slowly sliding into undesirable territory. The strike last week was especially welcoming in that the 50-block walk to my work has been good to my legs, but now that the trains are running again I'm going to have to find some other creative outlets of getting into shape. I made three specific goals in what I want accomplished when I moved out here, and one of them was to learn the art of tango dancing. I recently got into tango music--both traditional and neo--and I want to dance properly to the music instead of doing the usual hop-n-skip that I do when I go out.

Posted by Charlie at 01:50 PM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2005

Subway Drama

The most powerful person in New York City isn't Bloomberg or Trump or Thomas; the men and women who run the MTA have made themselves quite known that without them New York City is pretty much at a standstill, delivering a $400million blow to the economy for every day that it is not in service. With the impending strike coming tomorrow, office workers who live in one of the four outer borroughs and work in Manhattan are pretty much fucked, unless they just happen to know someone who owns a car. Who in this day and age owns a car in NYC anyway?! Currently negotiations between the city and the union are at a standstill, so emergency plans are being developed in case a strike actually plays out. But I'm not worried. Those hard-working MTA workers deserve the better benefits and pay for what they do. Way to go for sticking it to The Man!

Posted by Charlie at 09:56 AM | Comments (0)

December 01, 2005

We Need More Guys Here

There is way too much estrogen in the office--I can just feel my cycle starting to sync up with everyone here. Another two months I'll have boobs.

Posted by Charlie at 10:01 AM | Comments (0)

November 29, 2005

Bedbugs Biting

You know of all those news reports about the supposed impending bedbug infestation that's going to happen in New York City anytime soon? Well, guess what: they're all true. Some of my friends (whom shall remain nameless for their social life's sake) have begun to get the obvious signs of not being the only ones sleeping in their beds. The welts on their arms are gross, and I am seriously considering disassociating myself with some of them until the epidemic is over, since bedbugs are known to travel in people's clothing. The New York Times says that a bedbug can live for up to one year without feeding, and that they can hide in cracks in the wall the width of a sheet of paper. Luckily I'm spared any sort of insect invasion so I can satisfy my entomological curiosities from far far far away.

Posted by Charlie at 08:17 PM | Comments (2)

November 28, 2005

It's Warm Out

People are out wearing t-shirts. What's up with that? It's almost December, for goodness sake.

Posted by Charlie at 02:52 PM | Comments (1)

Inconsistent Messages

Weird NYC weather, I tell you. Freezing temperatures one moment, semi-tolerable climate the next. When will the madness end and when can we just get to the blizzards?!

Posted by Charlie at 10:51 AM | Comments (0)

November 24, 2005

Great Coasting

I really like him, although he seems so much like me it's scary. I'm usually used to being with someone completely different than me. I can't stop thinking about him: at work, at home, on the subway, on the street. He seems to occupy my mind all the time. His ex-boyfriend is right: he is very comfortable to be around. His friends are probably the biggest obstacle to getting to really like him, as they pretty much know everything about me. They're pretty tight, his circle of friends, and it's like I have to be in a relationship with them as well as him. His family, on the other hand, are awesome. Jack and Chiyomi are so chill and down to earth that I totally feel like family whenever I'm over at his place. This is totally a guy I can see settling down with for a while...

Posted by Charlie at 08:34 PM | Comments (0)

November 23, 2005

Clockwatching

Bored at work, with no access to any of my email accounts. Poo. Three hours and counting. I'm recalling the scene in Clockwatchers when the three temps, on their last hour of work, do nothing but stare intently at the clock and wait for the hands to reach 5 o'clock. I'm doing the same thing, except I have three hours more to go.

Posted by Charlie at 02:27 PM | Comments (0)

October 27, 2005

Hardy Har Har

Please meet Charlie, the guy with really bad timing, who was just offered a job at a really large company in Redmond, Washington, and had to decline it because he's currently located in New York...

Posted by Charlie at 05:11 PM | Comments (1)

October 21, 2005

Hmmm...

Please meet Charlie, a guy with the worst timing in the world. Boo.

Posted by Charlie at 11:25 AM | Comments (3)

October 19, 2005

Children of the Same Rhythm

The process of goodbye comes in two flavors. One, like the smooth bittersweetness of dark chocolate, lingers in the mouth for a while before fading away to the confines of memory and oblivion. The another, like the sharpness of spicy curry, is quick, painful (yet oh-so addicting). Goodbyes are never fun.

Posted by Charlie at 11:33 AM | Comments (0)

October 18, 2005

I Can't Sleep

I had several cups of lychee tea earlier today, and it's now close to 4 in the morning and I can't sleep.

I was thinking. I often wonder I am so self-professing in my writing. I can write about the debate over Harriet Miers' Supreme Court nomination or whatever was playing on NPR today, but for some reason my writings always tend to drift back to the subject of me me me. The obvious answer is the egocentric nature of my writing style (which isn't really indicative of my personality; quite the opposite I feel). As I don't talk to my friends about most of my problems (I have yet to master the art of vocally articulating my woes), I use this (and another, more private) journal as a sort of cathartic outlet, and if the world at large has to be a witness to this form of emotional release, then so be it. I realize that I'm also writing for my future self. Because if I tried writing about this moment tomorrow or next week or five years in the future, that I would be writing down nothing more than bare facts. I write so that I can remember what I was then. Isn't autobiography nothing more than an extension of memory? In this ever-increasing media-saturated world where opinions and events and history becomes ever more layered, dense, unnavigable, the personal chronicle has never been more necessary.

It's now 4AM, and I still can't sleep.

Next topic concerning me me me. I was interviewed a few months back, and I stated that while I feel that I've established a firm hold on my sexual identity, my ethnic identity was still something I was struggling to find. I was asked to elaborate, but I stammered, not able to explain fully really what I meant by that. I couldn't explain it, I only was able to feel it. That interview came back to me again a few days ago, when a friend and I began talking about the subject of race over cocktails. She asked me if I wondered what it would be like to be born monoethnic. Yes, I said, surprising myself. I've never considered that situation consciously, but thinking about it (in my alcohol-induced state) I think life would have been so much easier had I grown up with two parents who were of the same ethnic makeup. Not there isn't beauty in bring born multiethnic -- there is -- it's just... different. It's funny because I could never see myself as straight (are you kidding?!) -- so while I stand firm (currently) on my sexual identity, my ethnic identity is still ambiguous, fluid.

That previous paragraph totally made no sense whatsoever.

It's now a quarter past 4 in the morning. My eyelids are getting heavy, but I'm refusing to stop typing. I think the sleep deprivation is starting to catch up with me. I really should go to bed now... it's going to be a busy tomorrow, with what more farewell dinners and hugs and tears.

Goodnight.

Posted by Charlie at 03:50 AM | Comments (1)

October 17, 2005

One More Thing

Before I forget: if you're of a mature age (say 40+ years) and single, one way to NOT get a relatively younger guy (say 24 years) to come home with you is to occupy the urinal next to his and proceed to STARE at his unit while he's trying to urinate. It's just not sexy.

Posted by Charlie at 03:33 AM | Comments (0)

October 16, 2005

Nothing

What you feel most, you remember best.

Posted by Charlie at 11:17 PM | Comments (0)

October 13, 2005

Favorite Found Quote #37

"Rich white kids’ infatuation with oppressed minorities is so fucking gay."
-Vice

Posted by Charlie at 04:55 PM | Comments (0)

October 02, 2005

Getting Disenchanted

Finding my own nice, livable place in NYC is going to take a long time, methinks. Actually, I know this for a fact: the housing situation in NYC is one very tough market. Check this story that I found on Craigslist, after the jump.

...A few years ago I answered an ad for a share near 89th and Broadway. It was offered by an older guy and the way he described it was wonderful, gourmet kitchen, railroad flat, closets, views. It was on the top floor of a four or five floor walk up.

I went to see it and was greeted by an old dirty looking guy. I should have left, but was suffering from the new New Yorker's politeness syndrome and didin't want to hurt his feelings. He showed me the front room. In it was a filthy cot where he slept. Nearby on a desk was a huge hunting knife in a sheath. I remember noting how strange it was there, but still didn't want to be impolite.

We walked toward the back of the apt along the hallway that went past each room and into the kitchen at the back. The room for rent was not vacated, held a strange bunkbed and had someone's things still in the room. Shabby would be the word for the look of things. The next room was the bathroom, even worse, and filthy. Made me wonder how the guy expected to rent the place. We entered the large kitchen and there was a very sullen Asian man, wiry and dragging on cigarettes standing there leaning against the counter. I was introduced, but the fellow was sullen and would not respond. I wondered about him. The old man said that was the roommate who was moving out.

Then the old man told me to have a seat and he started cutting a big carrot up for his very fat yellow dog. The dog was getting very excited about the carrot it seemed which the old man was cutting with an enormous knife. It was then I noticed that on the counter top that went along two walls of the kitchen were many many huge knives all laid out side by side. I started to get a very bad feeling.

Instincts came on full blast, and I suddenly jumped to my feet and started walking really fast to the front door. I didn't run but I wanted to. I yelled back to the old man that I would be right back and that I was just going to tell my driver to go ahead, since he was waiting for me downstairs. (There was no driver.) As I reached the front door I was confronted with about ten locks. Maybe I was blessed, maybe an angel was with me, but somehow, before the old man could catch up to me at the door, I had turned all the right locks and thrown open the door. The little old man was one foot behind me, running down the apt hallway yelling "but Susan, but Susan, are you coming back...?"

I laughed gaily, all the while propelled forward down the stairs in absolute terror, and told him I would be right back, just had to let my driver go. Once outside I rushed away and hoped he was not watching to see which way I went.

This is a true story. I know now I should have gone to the police. But part of me did not want to believe that I was almost killed - an element of denial protected me from the horror that I almost befell. I hope that no one else, no other woman looking for a home has fallen prey to those men...

Posted by Charlie at 03:24 PM | Comments (1)

September 22, 2005

Reminiscing Good Times

This is going to be hard. Just when I thought I was mentally/emotionally prepared to leave Seattle... Fuck.

Posted by Charlie at 09:28 PM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2005

The First Advent

We left the second half of our chapter unwritten, but the ink has run dry.

Posted by Charlie at 11:47 PM | Comments (0)

Rules For Dating Charlie - Tip #231

Yes, I know it's the first date and all, and yes, I know it's kind of like a job interview, but please, don't say that one of your hobbies is "working out." You obviously have a nice body, but I'd want this idealized image of you, that you're effortlessly striking. Plus it just isn't really intellectually sound.

Posted by Charlie at 03:19 PM | Comments (2)

August 30, 2005

Of Tarots and Such

Watching Brian get this tarot reading today was an interesting experience. I went into it quite skeptical, but the woman (her name's Raven, I think) made some very interesting remarks about Brian's life that made me rethink my opinion of the unorthodox realm of divinity. I think when I'm bored I'll go in to have my own tarot reading done.

I went onto Astrology.com to get my horoscope profile read, and it was beyond scary. They kind of have my personality in a nutshell:

You are a freedom-loving, strong-willed, and independent-minded individual, and you insist upon living your own life as you see fit, even if that means ignoring convention and tradition. In personal relationships you cannot be owned or possessed, and while you are willing to share yourself with another, you do not always adjust easily to the emotional give and take of a close relationship. Though intellectually open, you can be enormously stubborn, opinionated, and inflexible on a one-to-one level. You have strong convictions and feelings about fairness and equality, and you try to live by your ideals, but your ideals about how people SHOULD treat one another don't always take into account human weaknesses, differences, and needs. You probably dislike sentimentality and traditional gender roles and "games."

I'm going to print out this portion onto a business card and pass it out during dates. This is so me.

Posted by Charlie at 11:14 PM | Comments (0)

August 28, 2005

Light Weekend, (Not-So) Heavy Realizations

Erik and I had Movie Night yesterday, and we saw two movies that I've been meaning to catch for a while: Videodrome by David Cronenberg, and Abre los ojos by Alejandro Amenábar. Both movies are highly philosophical in tone, with social commentary that is still as fresh today as it was twenty years (Videodrome) and eight years (Abre los ojos) ago. They are wonderful films, and a perfect cap to a not-so-perfect week.

Anyway, in our heightened state of self-absorption, we started engaging in a pseudo-introspective discourse about life, love, sex... pretty much anything two bored gay guys would talk about on a Saturday night. I, being the self-involved egoist that I am, kept steering the conversation back to myself, and in doing so I came up some not-so-startling realizations about myself.

What makes us happy? To some, it's the afterglow after making love on a Sunday afternoon. To others, it's curling next to a fireplace with a good book on a winter night. Happiness comes in all shapes and forms, but is flawed in that it is very transitory: Sunday turns to Monday; winter becomes spring. Happiness isn't forever.

I take that back. The aforementioned conditions are often associated with the term pleasure. We take pleasure in the little things like staring into our lovers' eyes and turning that last page in the novel, but those things are transitory. Happiness is a more permanent, long-term state that is attained through more complex means (I would imagine). Pleasure is temporary; happiness is forever. But happiness stems from pleasure. Get it?

I don't know, once you're content you might as well stop living because it is like attaining enlightenment, as the Buddhists say. Because once you're truly contentedly happy, where do you go next? Where's progress? In the world of design it is the process-making that is often viewed to be more important, more valuable than the final product. To me it's that very pursuit for the unattainable - the final product - that makes life so interesting and challenging. I equate happiness as being unattainable because frankly I believe I will never be truly happy in this lifetime, and that is okay, so long as I work toward one step closer to achieving that happiness.

Posted by Charlie at 02:33 PM | Comments (1)

August 25, 2005

The Politics of Pubes

Okay, so evidently there is some sort of hoopla surrounding Dolce & Gabbana's latest ad campaign, and it involves an area of the male body that is still considered taboo in most media outlets. Call me visually desensitized if you will, but honestly I don't understand what the big fuss is about. People say that pubic hair is dirty and disgusting, and I resent that statement. I feel that the human body is a beautiful work of art to be cherished and celebrated. Besides, the model seems to be taking good care of his pubes; they look well maintained and kept, from what I can see. Dolce & Gabbana, like Calvin Klein and Diesel, have always been coming out with campaigns that are unconventional, controversial. If you ask me the ones raising their voice about this unnecessary fuss are probably not the type of people who are going to be wearing Dolce & Gabbana jeans in the first place.

Posted by Charlie at 01:17 AM | Comments (1)

August 23, 2005

ごちゃごちゃ

I just realized something. I was going through a mental list, and I found out that out of all of my friends, I am quite literally the only single guy. Every single person I know is either dating someone, or they're in a serious committed relationship. I'm literally alone. Wow. I don't get it. I'm a pretty okay-looking person, yeah? I'm also over-average in the brains department, yeah? Plus I have a nice sense of humor too, yeah? I like to think that I'm a catch, I do. So what's wrong? What is it about me that turns guys off? I don't think I've felt less confident about myself than I do right now. Sigh...

PS - This will most likely be the last neurotic entry you'll ever get out of me... I am sooo not casting a flattering light on myself right now.

Posted by Charlie at 07:42 PM | Comments (4)

August 03, 2005

Aspirations & Dreams

I don't do karaoke. The very idea of getting a private room with friends and singing badly to 80's hits just doesn't appeal to me, but there is one single reason why I let myself be dragged back time and time again: the music videos. As long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be one of those models in the karaoke videos. These anonymous D-list actors seem to have it all: they get to dress up in 90's clothing, lip-sync to bad songs, and get paid for it! I had always imagined myself joining the ranks of those who have had the wonderful experience of being one of these karaoke models.

Posted by Charlie at 01:41 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2005

Being an Asian American Today

What people on Craigslist have to say about Asians:

• At least 1/2 of those asian women will sellout to guys outside their race and give you some sex.
• I can't see a real woman who likes a good stiff one thinking Asian men are great... hell my thumb is bigger.
• I fucked a chink bitch a few months ago. No ass. What a rip.

• If American girls had to endure the seriously disgusting dishes that Asian chicks are made to eat (seaweed, dog meat, horse meat, all those weird fish and sea creatures, bukaki vomit, etc.) then they would become skinny too because it's all so nasty and gross.
• We ALL know asian women are dying to date white guys even gay asian guys are doing it! Man! You Asians are a bunch of sellouts to the white man aren't you! (This one had me laughing so hard)
• Have you ever slapped an asian boy? I have. It's a very entertaining experience. Their chinky eyes start watering, and their chubby little boy faces scrunch up like they just smelled something bad. When you slap them repeatedly, they start blubbering and beg you to stop.
  
  Asian boys are the most pathetic males in the human race, as well as the most feminine. They are naturally childlike (boylike) and effeminate, and they are inferior to other races. They are so short, small-framed, and look so much like they never passed puberty, it makes me feel contempt for them and gives me the urge to spit on them.
  
  Even when they're angry they're pathetic and feminine. Look at the asian boys here, they come off as bitchy and whiny. And that reminds me, because of all the asian boys whining and crying here, I'm going to go out and slap an asian boy that I see on the street.
• Asian guys have too much pride to say anything which is why they are treated like dirt. In chatrooms, blogs, websites, here on CL all the Asian guys are so cool and macho, but in real life they are the biggest wimps. Take a look in the NYC area, anywhere you go. Don't you see a lot of Asian women dating White guys? Of course. Now do you see a lot of Asian men dating White women? Nope. Have you ever seen any Asian guy date a White chic? Thinking back, you may have seen one or two in your lifetime. My point exactly. Asian guys don't say squat about their women being sellouts and whores to White culture and White men in general. I mean, Asian women and White men aren't going to complain. Asian women get to date men who are taller than 5'6" with round eyes, and White men get to date women who are easier to get into bed and have sexy bodies. Why complain? The only demographic left in the dust are the Asian men, and what do they say. Most say, forget it, the Asian women aren't worth it because Asian men claim to have girlfriends, some of them White girlfriends. I mean, come on! All delusional, of course. Asian men have too much pride to admit they're seen as the bottom rung of the dating totem pole, and this is why this whole Asian/White phenomena exists.

Posted by Charlie at 12:47 AM | Comments (4)

July 19, 2005

Being Beautiful

We like to think that babies are born into this world as blank slates; that with nurture and influences of local cultures they grow up with biased opinions as to what constitutes being beautiful is like. Of course, that is not the case.

Posted by Charlie at 10:59 PM | Comments (0)

July 11, 2005

Online Profiles

An interesting phenomenon. Whilst browsing (yet again) through random people's online profiles on MySpace, I've come across an something that I'm sure most of you have already noticed: people whose faces are contorted in a perplexed, confused expression. They have their eyebrows raised as if in question; their lips are pouted; facing the camera at a 3/4 Paris Hilton angle. It may be cute upon first glance, but people don't normally walk down the street with that kind of facial expression unless they're suffering from either constant facial spasms, or a massive case of diarrhea.

I have no idea why I am so worked up about this... maybe because I've spent the entire day just picking at my foot. But anyway, as I'm typing this I'm realizing that I have a picture of me in that exact expression on my MySpace profile...

Posted by Charlie at 10:20 PM | Comments (0)

Recognition

Some people crave attention; they're called attention whores. I crave recognition; I am a recognition whore.

Posted by Charlie at 04:26 AM | Comments (5)

July 09, 2005

My New Favorite Pastime

Yesterday, after a fulfilling day of doing absolutely nothing at Brian's place, Erik and I drove to Greenlake after dinner and watched The Grudge on my laptop. Even though both of us have already seen the movie before, there's something about watching a scary movie in an empty parking lot at 1 in the morning that gets my adrenaline going. I think for the next time we do this I'm going to make popcorn and connect the laptop to the car stereo system to get a more atmospheric effect. Anybody else wanna come with?

Posted by Charlie at 05:53 PM | Comments (0)

July 05, 2005

Been There

Last night as I was staring at the fireworks, situated less than a mile from the fireworks barge, surrounded by laughing people, the only thing I could think about is leaving Seattle. It is definitely time for me to be moving on, and frankly it doesn't really matter what city I end up going to. Norman Peale once stated that by changing your thoughts you can change the world, and I think that's going to be a major template for me in the next few months.

Posted by Charlie at 10:48 AM

May 01, 2005

Gwenihana

I posted something about this a while back, but it looks like people are starting to take note on the four inconspicuous fashion dolls that follow Gwen Stefani around like lost puppies. Even Salon.com has an article about this trend of the most racist proportions. Let's free the Harajuku Girls!

Posted by Charlie at 09:31 AM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2005

Cooper & Me

Meet my new friend. His name is Cooper. He's very cute. I like him.

Posted by Charlie at 01:15 AM | Comments (0)

April 02, 2005

Restless

Do you guys remember that one episode on Sex and the City, where Carrie starts dating her fuck buddy? And do you remember that specific term she used to describe being absolutely horny? Well, that's me: I'm "restless."

Posted by Charlie at 08:41 PM | Comments (1)

January 05, 2005

Discovering

He lifts up the blanket and points to a scar on his left leg. "See this here?"
I reach down and massage it. "Yeah, where'd you get it?"
"I was shot there."
I look at him. "No way."
He grins. "Way. I was kind of in a gang back in high school."
I laugh at him. "Wait. You were 'kind of' in a gang."
"Let's just say I was on the wrong side of the tracks." His smile gets bigger, and he drapes the blanket back down over us. "I have two more to show you, but let's sleep now."

Posted by Charlie at 03:10 PM | Comments (0)

December 25, 2004

Good To Go

We took the world's longest shower together. He left the bathroom light off since the sun was already starting to rise from behind the mountains, and with every shampooing I could slowly make out a little more of his splendor. By our third rinse-and-repeat he asked me if I wanted to be his boyfriend, and I, drunk from staring into his eyes, answered, "sure, why not..."

Posted by Charlie at 12:45 AM | Comments (0)

December 02, 2004

Warning Signs

I've been having trouble sleeping these past few days for some reason. I have no problem falling asleep, but somehow I always end up getting up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning. Sometimes I'm in the middle of a bad dream, or sometimes I'll just wake up because it's too hot in bed. Is it because I'm feeling subconscious pangs of anxiety stemming from my recent firing? Could it be because my body is yearning for the warmth of another? Or maybe it's because my old mattress is finally starting to die on me? Early symptoms of insomnia? Who knows.

Posted by Charlie at 12:33 AM | Comments (0)

November 08, 2004

NYU

New York University has an interesting graduate program that might just be the perfect fit for me: Master of Science in Digital Imaging and Design. Taking the old Bauhaus School's motto: "art and technology - a new unity," the program encourages visual self-expression using advanced digital technology. This is just the ticket I need to get out of Seattle, although now I'm going to have to devote more of my time building and refining my portfolio. I'm considering writing and editing a little film short as part of my digital resume. Hm.

Posted by Charlie at 02:17 PM | Comments (0)

October 06, 2004

My Cum Story

I just got back from dinner with Jeremy. The food was amazing, but for some strange reason the entire restaurant smelled like cum. It was as if the entire restaurant crew took a masturbation break in the middle of the day to recoat the walls... or something. I don't know. It smelled oddly fresh and not at all appetizing. Of course I had to open my big mouth and inform Jeremy of this, and thus began a ten minute conversation of all things cum.

Growing up we had honeysuckle vines growing around the front railing of our house. I've always dreaded the springtime when honeysuckle flowers bloomed, because I've always thought that they smelled like cum. Sometimes my mom would cut a few vines and bring them into the house; that was the worst, when your entire house smelled like cum. Man, it felt like everyday guys were jerking off all over me... or something.

Luckily we finally got rid of the vines. In order to thrive the honeysuckle need constant sunlight, a task Seattle couldn't live up to. But it was too late; I had already been scarred. Anything cum-smelling except the real stuff has since become my mortal enemy: honeysuckle, certain varieties of pho, raw egg whites, you name it. I stay away from the stuff.

And that, my friends, is my cum story. The End.

Posted by Charlie at 10:42 PM | Comments (1)

September 30, 2004

Nester

These days I've taken to spending more time with my two best friends: my bed, my books. For some reason I'm not keen on going out these days; it just seems more productive to stay at home and cough up the mucous that had been stuck in my throat that day. I don't even drink anymore... the last time I was drunk was when we took Jassi to Von's two weeks ago. What's wrong with me?!

Considering I spent well over $300 on alcoholic beverages last month, this is probably a good thing. I am well on my way to financial recovery, and the first thing I'm gonna do when I'm out of the red is buy myself a Powerbook to celebrate the victory. My wonderful Toshiba Satellite has gasp its last breath after just two years of faithful service and I'm going to take that as a sign to finally bid adieu to Microsoft and say bonjour to Apple.

So here I am, sober and content with my books and broken laptop, while my friends are, at this moment, dancing the night away at Neighbors or karaoke-ing at All American. My life has once again slowed down to routine, at least for now. Marty Pants has asked Booga and myself to be a part of the MAVIN magazine cover, so it looks like I'm gonna have to dig in my closet for that prom dress that's been gathering dust for the past year. Goddamn I'm a catch.

Posted by Charlie at 11:53 PM | Comments (0)

September 23, 2004

Le Sigh

There are what - six billion people living in this small world? Many idealists would argue that out of those six billion people, only ONE of them is destined to be your partner, your soulmate. I find this notion of love by destiny somewhat daunting and frankly, a bit ridiculous. I am by no means a fatalist, but sometimes I often wonder... "what if I never met you?" I've been thinking a lot these days.

Posted by Charlie at 08:19 PM | Comments (0)

September 21, 2004

A Pissing Rampage

In my efforts at detoxifying my system and getting over a nasty cold, I've doubled my daily water intake and thus have been going on a pissing rampage at the office. No, not the kind of rampage where you douse bitchy bosses and fiery crotches, but rather the kind of rampage that takes hold of your already small bladder and will not let go. That doesn't make sense. Anyway, I've been pissing a storm. Ivan-quality.

Posted by Charlie at 08:28 PM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2004

A Week of Misgivings

The atmosphere around the office hasn't been one of cheer or ease as of late. With magazines rejecting our ad submissions and past deadlines, I am surprised that I'm still working here. A graphic designer was suddenly fired last week. Threats of sexual harassment lawsuits whisper their way around the office. 1846 and I have been researching Craigslist for prospective replacement jobs; at times we hate working here and at other times things are bearable... only if the bosses aren't breathing down our necks, however. I really like my coworkers here, and I know that this company is going to get big. But there are these sacrifices one must make when working at a start-up, and that usually involves financials. I'm not making much here; neither are most of these folks. I guess the primary thing driving us to work for this company is our desire to see this company thrive.

Things are looking up, finally. We've had two local television stations come to conduct interviews; some coworkers and I have started a weekly cocktail gathering; and best of all, I made a new best friend. Her name is Jassi. I love her. We all love her. She's the kick-ass personal assistant of the ages. 1846 and I have posters of her all over our cubicle, and sometimes she gets to sit in on one of our meetings. She can be a little quiet, but that's usually because she's coming down from a night of pot smoking. Oh, Jassi!

Don't you just love her?

Posted by Charlie at 05:07 PM | Comments (0)

August 31, 2004

Cold Out There

We sat on the concrete steps, staring out into the water. It was dark, and we couldn't see much, but the city skyline across the bay reflected a brilliant rippling fireworks display. It was also chilly, and we held on tightly to each other, but said nothing, letting the crashes of the distant waves do the talking for us...

Posted by Charlie at 11:58 PM | Comments (0)

August 16, 2004

Trivial Matters

Holy crap I just spent $50 on a bottle of French champagne and I was only able to drink half a glass! So we moved to our new digs last weekend. The old office was not even half the size of this new place, and I like it. I especially like it because 1846 and I are situated away from everyone, giving us plenty of opportunity to bitch over AIM with each other. And it happens often, believe me. We recently hired a new sap to work for us - but he's been here a week and I still don't know what he was hired for. 1846 and I are left scratching our heads because the only thing he's been accomplishing thus far is just posing and looking pretty. Fine by me.

I was placed in charge of putting together a little celebration in lieu of our recent move and launch of the website, and stupid me - I jet off and bought $50 worth of champagne without even checking the price tag. When I finally looked at my receipt and gawked at the total, I had every chance to go back into the liquor store and ask for a refund, but no, I was more concerned about saving face and so I walked back to the office with my tail behind my legs. Oh well. At least I can expense it. Charlie's on a budget afterall.

I had to go to design class so I was only able to force down half a glass before taking off. I had a really nice buzz by the time I ran into Nick, who informed me that he was moving out to Manhattan with his partner in November. Talking to him made me reminisce about the mischief we got into at the dorms. Good times...

Posted by Charlie at 10:45 PM | Comments (0)

August 12, 2004

A Financial Cul-de-Sac

Ouch. I received my credit card balance today, and it wasn't pretty. As a matter of fact, it's just as ugly as the French artist Orlan, which would be a very flattering comment considering her line of work. And to add further insult to my monetary woes, my credit card company decides to raise my credit limit another thousand dollars. Great. Charlie's taking a social hiatus for the next few weeks. My credit cards are going back into my safe deposit box.

Speaking of French artists, selected pieces from the Kröller-Müller Museum are now showing at the SAM, and in their collection is my all-time favorite Redon piece!

Such a beautiful piece. I love atmospheric constrast created from the tranquil color scheme and the hideous eye. This Redon piece has greatly influenced my fascination with eyes in my artwork way back when. Maybe when I have time I'll take pictures of my eyeball sculptures from my design classes and post them up on this site. My passion for eyes has been further instilled with Murakami's introduction to the art scene, but alas, he has effectively killed it when he paired up with Marc Jacobs last year.

Speaking of fashion icons, the good folks at is-ness have me under their radar! It's nice to know that people are visiting this site. All I need now is a JAS-MB boutique near my home and I can die happy.

But first I must try to get out of the red. Someone's going home sober tonight!

Oh wait. My boss just told be that one of our services is launching today - aka - time to break out the champagne!

Posted by Charlie at 11:45 AM | Comments (0)

August 11, 2004

The Power of AIM

I love AIM. I don't want to mention any names, but bitching about mutual coworkers over AIM has made my days here at work go by much faster. It's a great friendship builder. Maybe I'll invite - let's call this person 1846 - maybe I'll invite 1846 out for drinks are something.

Posted by Charlie at 05:27 PM | Comments (0)

August 06, 2004

Another Listless Friday

Warning: This post is not going to be of any interest to those who accidentally come across this site, so feel free to skip past this. I'm going to start rambling.

Ty's coming up to visit at the end of this month, which is awesome. I cannot wait to play the role of dorky Seattle tourist with him. I finally booked a flight to the Bay Area a few days ago, and will be playing the role of dorky Sunnyvale tourist with my Irish cousins.

Ireneo is finally moving back to Seattle, which is also awesome. I cannot wait to ride in shopping carts down Pike with him again. Although this time he'll be riding with a stack of dissertations to hand out to people. What an over-achiever.

I am greatly anticipating Mr. Pants Hernandez's Banana Bonanza Eating Contest. I am not going to miss watching a dozen people vomit banana for the world. His friend Karen knows my friend Ireneo...? Small world.

Okay, I just caught myself using my cellphone's camera as a sort of pseudo-compact mirror to fix my hair. Ahh, the wonders of modern technology, cultivating the vainness in all of us. I think I need a haircut.

This is what happens when you're stuck in from of a computer 8 hours a day with nothing to do. *exhales* Whew, I'm done now. You can all go back to whatever you're doing.

Posted by Charlie at 03:04 PM | Comments (0)

August 04, 2004

Arrivederci

SueJeanA is joining the legion of hopefuls and traveling to the city known as the Big Apple to fulfill her dreams of success and stardom, or whatever fancies her. I would start reminiscing on all the good times we've had - like that one time we got drunk, and that other time getting drunk, oh and that one time last year we got totally drunk - but I'm just too busy to start feeling sentimental. Ahhh, good times. All I have to say is that she had better still be there once I'm transplanted in New York City next June! Oh, that reminds me of that one we got so trashed last January...

Posted by Charlie at 08:26 PM | Comments (0)

August 01, 2004

10 CDs Down, 490 To Go

My love/hate relationship with Sony continues today with the purchase of a new DVD burner, the DRX-700UL. The design of this beauty is just uber-fabulous. I love it! It's been a slow ongoing process, but I'm currently converting my music collection into MP3s so I can burn them onto DVD. After moving many boxes containing Jared's 3000+ CD collection yesterday, I figure it'll be a minor investment in the long run.

Posted by Charlie at 10:04 PM | Comments (0)

Weekend Odysseys

Jared and Ellen finally moved out of their hellhole of a house yesterday, concluding a dark chapter in their lives that included a refrigerator that smelled like dead carcass and the world's most annoying roommate. Their new place is a cute, small one-story with hardwood floors and a quiet backyard. And it's conveniently located close to Ireneo's house!

Posted by Charlie at 11:07 AM | Comments (0)

July 30, 2004

Bisexual Porno Rockers Suck!!!

Yesterday was Libby's last night out in Seattle for a while; she's moving to Colorado to pursue an eight-year PHD program, that smart bitch. Booga was very enthused about some bisexual rocker from Brooklyn who is supposed to be like the male version of Avenue D. I like Avenue D, so it sounded like a good shot. Houston Bernard is his name, and boy did he suck big time. By the end of his set he had stripped down to his pink panties and was yelling about being horny and wanting to fuck holes holes holes. I stared at his crotch, but couldn't see an outline of an erection, so I think he was lying about being horny.

Okay, so after that Bernard Bisexual Porno Rockstar Whatever shot his wad over half the audience - I was thankfully off in the corner playing with his giant cock so I didn't get wet - Libby and I drove post-haste to Neighbors for two hours of dancing to really bad 80's music. If there is one thing I hate more than being the only sober one at a party full of drunkards, it's being the only sober one at a party full of sweaty/stinky/fat drunkards who have no sense of personal space. I usually own the dancefloor, but something about waving your arms to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go with all these people just didn't seem right that night. We left promptly as soon as Jessie's Girl came on.

On a brighter note, we finally FINALLY found a 24-hour McDonald's. Nothing beats chowing down on some chicken after a night of pseudo-dancing at 3 in the morning.

It's ironic that I'm pretty bushed today, considering I accomplished absolutely nothing last night.

Posted by Charlie at 02:35 PM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2004

Today: Louis Vuitton. Tomorrow: Meat Hooks?

All over America young people are taking off to the beach, picnic baskets and all, and setting up tripods and attaching themselves to meat hooks, enjoying the afternoon sun away as they dangle in the flowing breeze. Kinda like cargo pants, tiny knapsacks, or that late 1990's hairdo where guys' bangs flip up at their foreheads, I can't seem to understand the craze for this latest trend in outdoor recreation. I don't know... spending a nice Saturday afternoon looking like wet laundry set out to dry just doesn't seem like proper time managment. Plus, it kinda looks stupid.

Posted by Charlie at 04:50 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2004

Design Woes

Everytime I run into Jennifer on the street she's asking me how the MAVIN site is coming along. I had a dream last night that I handed the project over to Wilmer because I had just too much on my shoulders. When I woke up from the dream I didn't know whether to feel guilty or relieved. I think I should look into someone (willing to work pro-bono) to hop aboard the project with me.

So the album cover that I'm doing for Gerald's band is going to go into the hands of some really important people in the music industry. I don't know if I can name names, but after the meeting with him today I'm going to have to prioritize this project above all else. If his album catches the eye of these people then I know I'm hitting the big time. A guy can only dream...

Posted by Charlie at 09:02 PM | Comments (0)

July 22, 2004

The Politics Of Phone Dating

Rule #1: You have to be really lonely and horny.
Rule #2: You live in sexually conservative locales like El Paso or Connecticut.
Rule #3: Be familiar with such eloquent sayings as, "box me up," "10-inch spaceship," and "suck my pussy."
Rule #4: When putting up your personals message, you get more responses if you breathe very deeply or if you sound like you're having an orgasm.
Rule #5: If you're a gay male and you're over 40 and you put your personals up on the chatline - there's a very good chance you like to engage in cross-dressing. (Not that I'm against it)
Rule #6: If you're a straight female you'll get more responses if you use words like "submissive," "servant," and the phrase, "I'll treat my man like a king."
Rule #7: No butch lesbians allowed on the chattline; only femmes, please.
and
Rule #8: White guys from the South really, really like Black cocks.

Posted by Charlie at 03:38 PM | Comments (0)

Blue..............................

Downsides: Staying up until 3 in the morning working; overdue deadlines; people all around me hooking up (except me!); haven't had a drink in five days; bosses not happy with me; Oanh and Libby leaving Seattle.

Upsides: My new Samsung P107; getting Ryan's message today; knowing that I'm gonna be visiting T. in August; knowing that I'm gonna be visiting SueJeanA in September; knowing that I'm gonna be visiting Cat in November; knowing that I have kick-ass friends who'll cover my back even if they're 2000 miles away.

Posted by Charlie at 01:31 AM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2004

Detoxin'

As the three little bois went in search of something fun and exciting to do on a Saturday night, they encountered many an exciting adventure. Boi Number One (let's call him Ken-Ken) is not yet of drinking age, so their options became severely limited. Surely there was something fun to do on a Saturday night that does not include a vodka martini, right?! Boi Number Two (let's call him Jare-Bear) suggested going to some all-ages concerts, and so began their quest for the perfect Saturday night.

Looking through a copy of The Stranger was fruitless; in this town, it seems, you have to be at least 21 years old to even have a decent social life. An hour after eating at the all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet, Boi Number Three (let's call him Char-Char) suggested catching some grub at Johnny's Rocket. Ken-Ken managed to scarf down one of Johnny's rockets, but Jare-Bear, disgusted at the sight of all that flesh, opted for more gag-reflex-friendly freedom fries. Meanwhile Char-Char delighted in taunting the little girl in the next booth with his Oreo milkshake. And it's like, better than hers.

After browsing through gay porno magazines; after being chased down the street by some guy who wanted to sell his bus tickets; after attempting to buy polka-dot panties at Victoria's Secret; the three little bois went to Jare-Bear's friend's birthday party. Evidently Jare-Bear's friend didn't have a lot of friend in Seattle, as the party was quieter than Char-Char's bed on a Saturday night. Ken-Ken didn't drink, and Char-Char didn't want to repeat the horrors of the night's prior, so it was up to Jare-Bear to take in as much margaritas as he could possibly can.

The night had ended rather quietly; by then it was two in the morning and Char-Char was getting tired. Alas, while their Saturday night may not have been the talk of the town, they saw many sights previously unseen, said many things previously unsaid, and learned many things previously unknown.

Posted by Charlie at 09:38 PM | Comments (0)

Butt-Face

I miss Ireneo.

Posted by Charlie at 09:10 PM | Comments (0)

Yesterday I Was An Internet Virgin

The problem with cybersex, I've just come to realize, is that it's cumbersome and quite annoying to try to type legibly with one hand while stroking yourself with the other. You're typing sayings that you wouldn't necessarily say in life, like "I raise my arms above my head and you start sucking my pits." So much work, and trying to stay turned on the entire time! Gimme the real thing any day. :)

Posted by Charlie at 09:01 PM | Comments (0)

July 01, 2004

Should I...

So today I received an email from a friend who thought that I was in Japan teaching for AEON. It was kinda funny, because she was in Nagoya teaching for another company and was on her way to Tokyo and wanted to meet up. I had to write this apologetic and somewhat awkward email explaining to her why I was not in Japan, and it got me thinking about what would've happened had I actually accepted the positions that AEON offered me. I'm recalling all the experiences that Catalina had on her excursion to Japan - hanging out with all the Australian kids in Roppongi; becoming fast friends with some pot smoker who designs mobile phones for Docomo; landing a recording contract; being asked by a rather famous artist if he would paint a portrait of her eyes - and I think, maybe I should've gone to Japan...

Naah!

Posted by Charlie at 11:51 AM | Comments (0)

April 27, 2004

Eating Ass

Several weeks ago I had the most... unusual dream. It all started when I was on the phone talking to Catalina. She was going off about how much she loved eating her boyfriend's ass, describing very minute details which I did not need to hear. So of course that night I had a dream someone was eating my ass out. But I wasn't enjoying it, you see. The entire time I was more like, "Who's eating my ass?! This isn't right!!" I felt violated. I could hear muffled laughter accompanied by slurping noises, but try as I might, I wasn't able to turn around to see who the culprit was.

Posted by Charlie at 09:25 PM | Comments (1)

April 22, 2004

Lucky Me

It baffles me, sometimes, the amount of good luck I encounter on the road to professional stardom. I am a stranger to rejection, really. Save for the botched application to Columbia, I've always gotten into whatever school, job position, whathaveyous that I've applied to. My sister works her ass off, pulling off all-nighters, risking ulcers and premature gray hair. And here I am, sitting on my ass watching television. I find a cool jacket that I can't afford, so I go out and get a job so I can buy it. Man, am I superficial, or what!

So I start this ad position on Monday. Evidently I beat out quite a handful of people to get this job. Lucky me. My soon-to-be boss told me on the phone, "Well, you can sound a little bit more excited!" How can I be excited, when I already knew beforehand that I was going to get the job?

Charlie: egocentric, egoistic, egomaniac.

Posted by Charlie at 09:39 PM | Comments (0)

March 28, 2004

*cough*

I fancy being sick. My self-esteem bursts the roof whenever I catch a cold. Take this morning, for instance: I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror with my hair disarray, dried saliva trailing out of the corner of my mouth, my nose running. I slouched, patted my bourgeoning stomach, took one hard look in the mirror, and said to myself, "Hotdamn, do you look good!" *coughs* "You sexy dog!" *starts dry heaving* "Yeah, you sexy."

Posted by Charlie at 07:05 AM | Comments (0)