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July 18, 2006
...Yeah...
Do you know how hard it is for me to lose my cool? It's really hard. Even in the face of the greatest adversary I can usually hold my ground with calmness and collectiveness. I attribute this quality of my personality to the fact that I did not grow up in the most emotive and affectionate of environments. Much of my childhood and adolescence consisted of daily fights between me and my parents, and I've pretty much mastered the not-so-very-desirable ability to project myself out of a conflict and just be... Zen. Coolness is second nature to me.
However, during the moments when I do lose my cool, I become a bumbling idiot. I say things I don't really mean and this exposed, vulnerable side of me becomes so painfully visible. Most times I resent it, but last night I embraced it. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop smiling on the way home. Butterflies? Reckless hope? A lost cause? Who knows.
Posted by Charlie at July 18, 2006 02:00 PM