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October 31, 2005

Settling...

Sunday night, in bed, warm. Still in transition, but not for much longer. I got myself a shared apartment in hipster-saturated Williamsburg, only a stone's throw away from Manhattan and Union Square, with three other roommates. One girl, two guys, and a dog. My room is small but perfect for me considering I don't have a lot of stuff. The fire escape outside my window will be perfect during the summer days of people watching on the street. Things are coming together! Next on the agenda: furniture shopping.

Posted by Charlie at 01:42 AM | Comments (2)

October 27, 2005

Moma Walk

Went to the Moma the other day. The new building is fantastic: very Japanese and simple, and a great backdrop to all of the amazing pieces that were exhibited there. Imagine my surprise when the coat checker said that cameras were allowed inside! I was snapping away like crazy. There was an amazing Elizabeth Murray exhibition, as well as a Odilon Redon showing. Yikes! I'm gonna have to get myself a membership there, seeing as I'll probably be lost their halls every other weekend.

Posted by Charlie at 06:55 PM | Comments (2)

Hardy Har Har

Please meet Charlie, the guy with really bad timing, who was just offered a job at a really large company in Redmond, Washington, and had to decline it because he's currently located in New York...

Posted by Charlie at 05:11 PM | Comments (1)

October 26, 2005

Rosa Parks

Posted by Charlie at 01:35 AM | Comments (0)

October 25, 2005

Here

Yay, I'm alive! Tired, sick, and moody, but alive. I feel so much better than when I did Saturday when I said goodbye to the 'rents, although knowing me I'll probably be an emotional mess come next week. Spent pretty much today running around the city like a headless chicken, exploring the city and following up on apartments, and somehow I found myself running in the heavy rain down Queens Boulevard at 11PM. Damn, apartment hunting sucks! I can't wait to fill my space with DWR and MUJI stuff.

Posted by Charlie at 12:51 AM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2005

さようなら

At the airport right now. The guy sitting next to me is obnoxiously talking on his cellphone in speakerphone mode. My legs can't stop shaking for some reason, and my throat's still sore from the screaming of last night's affair. I only teared up once that night, in the presence of Jared's company, but I have a feeling that I'm going to break down on the plane at anytime.

I can't think straight right now.

I think I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.

I've been listening to Henryk Gorecki's 3rd Symphony a lot in the past few days.

I'm gonna miss a lot of people here.

I have like a hundred more pictures I could post up, but I'm too lazy to go through and post them up.

I hate these periods of transition. I can't wait until I get situated in New York and these feelings of apprehension and anxiety subside.

*sigh*

Goodbye, so long, adieu. Seattle, you kick ass.

Posted by Charlie at 11:19 PM | Comments (4)

October 21, 2005

Hmmm...

Please meet Charlie, a guy with the worst timing in the world. Boo.

Posted by Charlie at 11:25 AM | Comments (3)

October 19, 2005

High On Dimetapp

My remaining days in Seattle have been a sort of an anti-climatic affair, with me nesting at home, nursing my cold and watching movies instead of doing the normal fun things people generally do in the final days before moving to another city. Packing and organizing is my life these days, and in this semi-delirious state of sickness I think I'm gonna blab on meaningless babble. I'm only bringing two suitcases with me to New York, definitely not enough considering the amount of shit I own. I'm reminded of Madonna when she moved there in her one-way taxi ride, or of Madonna portraying Eva Peron in Evita when she went to Buenos Aries. I'm saddened that I won't be able to bring everything with me: my movies, CDs, lamps, synth, guitar, my books -- oh, my books... -- but those things are material anyway; I can just buy some more once I'm in NYC. Either that, or I'll have my parents ship out the rest of my stuff once I'm more established.

Posted by Charlie at 10:59 PM | Comments (1)

Children of the Same Rhythm

The process of goodbye comes in two flavors. One, like the smooth bittersweetness of dark chocolate, lingers in the mouth for a while before fading away to the confines of memory and oblivion. The another, like the sharpness of spicy curry, is quick, painful (yet oh-so addicting). Goodbyes are never fun.

Posted by Charlie at 11:33 AM | Comments (0)

October 18, 2005

I Can't Sleep

I had several cups of lychee tea earlier today, and it's now close to 4 in the morning and I can't sleep.

I was thinking. I often wonder I am so self-professing in my writing. I can write about the debate over Harriet Miers' Supreme Court nomination or whatever was playing on NPR today, but for some reason my writings always tend to drift back to the subject of me me me. The obvious answer is the egocentric nature of my writing style (which isn't really indicative of my personality; quite the opposite I feel). As I don't talk to my friends about most of my problems (I have yet to master the art of vocally articulating my woes), I use this (and another, more private) journal as a sort of cathartic outlet, and if the world at large has to be a witness to this form of emotional release, then so be it. I realize that I'm also writing for my future self. Because if I tried writing about this moment tomorrow or next week or five years in the future, that I would be writing down nothing more than bare facts. I write so that I can remember what I was then. Isn't autobiography nothing more than an extension of memory? In this ever-increasing media-saturated world where opinions and events and history becomes ever more layered, dense, unnavigable, the personal chronicle has never been more necessary.

It's now 4AM, and I still can't sleep.

Next topic concerning me me me. I was interviewed a few months back, and I stated that while I feel that I've established a firm hold on my sexual identity, my ethnic identity was still something I was struggling to find. I was asked to elaborate, but I stammered, not able to explain fully really what I meant by that. I couldn't explain it, I only was able to feel it. That interview came back to me again a few days ago, when a friend and I began talking about the subject of race over cocktails. She asked me if I wondered what it would be like to be born monoethnic. Yes, I said, surprising myself. I've never considered that situation consciously, but thinking about it (in my alcohol-induced state) I think life would have been so much easier had I grown up with two parents who were of the same ethnic makeup. Not there isn't beauty in bring born multiethnic -- there is -- it's just... different. It's funny because I could never see myself as straight (are you kidding?!) -- so while I stand firm (currently) on my sexual identity, my ethnic identity is still ambiguous, fluid.

That previous paragraph totally made no sense whatsoever.

It's now a quarter past 4 in the morning. My eyelids are getting heavy, but I'm refusing to stop typing. I think the sleep deprivation is starting to catch up with me. I really should go to bed now... it's going to be a busy tomorrow, with what more farewell dinners and hugs and tears.

Goodnight.

Posted by Charlie at 03:50 AM | Comments (1)

October 17, 2005

Contemplation

I've been thinking seriously for a while about getting a tattoo. Nothing big or outlandish, just a small, meaningful graphic behind my left ear. I've been thinking about possible candidates: a small elephant, my name spelled in Thai, an assortment of sakura petals, a ring surrounded by a larger ring. Hmmm...

Posted by Charlie at 08:29 PM | Comments (0)

Need I Say More???

Posted by Charlie at 02:59 PM | Comments (0)

One More Thing

Before I forget: if you're of a mature age (say 40+ years) and single, one way to NOT get a relatively younger guy (say 24 years) to come home with you is to occupy the urinal next to his and proceed to STARE at his unit while he's trying to urinate. It's just not sexy.

Posted by Charlie at 03:33 AM | Comments (0)

October 16, 2005

Nothing

What you feel most, you remember best.

Posted by Charlie at 11:17 PM | Comments (0)

Formula 17

Taiwanese sappiness came in the form of Formula 17, a 2004 film that was featured in the Seattle Gay & Lesbian Film Festival today. Chock full of visually captivating characters, the movie was very bubblegum and played out kinda like a music video. Very cute, although definitely meant for an audience younger (or older) than myself. I initially thought the title was strange, but when I read the Chinese title, My Seventeen-Year Old Prince, it kinda makes sense. I don't think American audiences would be happy if they knew that they were watching a romance blossom between a 17 and a 30-year-old.

Posted by Charlie at 10:29 PM | Comments (0)

October 13, 2005

Favorite Found Quote #37

"Rich white kids’ infatuation with oppressed minorities is so fucking gay."
-Vice

Posted by Charlie at 04:55 PM | Comments (0)

Addicted to What?

At a fundraiser for Senator Murray yesterday. She is much shorter in person than I initially had thought, but exudes confidence and charisma like any other high-profile bigwig in politics. She gave a short but sweet speech, and in it she detailed on how she has come across many whiners, people who complain about a particular issue, but do so much as nothing to amend it. The truly courageous people are the ones that actually stand up and do something about it.

It is so much easier to complain about something than it is to actually get up and do something about it. With blogging and podcasting (and video podcasting on the horizon), everyday (egoistic) people like you and me have greater options of emotional catharsis and outlet. Our opinions are important, and it's our duty to make sure that what we feel gets heard all over the internet. Of course, not everyone gives a rat's ass as to what I may feel about a particular topic. Unfortunately as well, not everyone out there can apprehend that their angry rants aren't going to be taken seriously if they don't communicate well. For example: complaining about the lack of books written for mixed race kids isn't going to translate if you read short excerpts from only TWO of them and then proceed to mock the language used in them. I'm just saying.

Posted by Charlie at 03:31 PM | Comments (0)

Golden Rain

What I wouldn't give to live in the late 50s.

Posted by Charlie at 03:12 PM | Comments (1)

October 12, 2005

Newer is Better

Even though the big news today at Apple was the rollout of new iPods that can play videos, the new iMacs that came out definitely caught my attention. The latest models are slimmer and more streamlined than the previous generation, and can now be controlled by remote control, similar to Windows Media Edition. Another nice feature is the integrated iSight camera located at the top of the console. Very nice.

Posted by Charlie at 02:46 PM | Comments (0)

The Winning Team

Batman and Robin are sure on the winning team, no doubt.

Posted by Charlie at 02:39 AM | Comments (0)

October 11, 2005

Hung Up

They played this song while I was at the clubs last Friday, and I think I was the only one that got crazy when it came on.

Posted by Charlie at 11:09 AM | Comments (0)

October 10, 2005

Off Da Hook

I've discovered this week that my sole definition of fun is going out to the clubs, getting substantially drunk, and making out with strangers. Or at least just TALK about making out with strangers. So what did Geetha and I do during the time she was here...? I'm drawing a blank.

Even though there was no stinky RV and the other three crew members were noticeably absent, we relived good times through the rough cut of the documentary that Justin is putting together. Among some of the more memorable quotes in the film: "...I just want to expose myself all around the country..." "...everything having to do with outside I'll do it..." and my personal favorite, "...how can you go about teaching this without crushing children's souls?" We were quite the articulate and optimistic crowd.

MAVIN's annual auction gala was last Saturday. It was a very glamourous affair, filled with black ties and designer dresses. My rebellious independent streak told me to avoid the standard black jacket and tie, and I came adorned with a nice wool sweater over a J Lindeberg shirt, J Lindeberg pants, and white Puma shoes. Go Charlie Go.

The evening was pretty much a blur, made so because the bartender convinced me to try his special version of the Cosmopolitan, in which he substituted Grand Marnier instead of triple sec. It was so delicious, I had him make two more, just to be sure of the delicious taste.

Oh yes, I also lost my voice this weekend. Between trying to talk in a crowded bar, inhaling tons of second-hand smoke at the clubs, and screaming my head off in order to get the Black guys to win first place in the strip contest, my vocal chords have taken a serious beating, and I'm refraining from any sort of conversation for the next few days in order to recover from this strenuous week.

Posted by Charlie at 12:21 PM | Comments (2)

October 05, 2005

Team Assemble!!!

Geetha's in town for a few days!

Posted by Charlie at 03:34 PM | Comments (0)

October 02, 2005

Leica D-Lux 2

I'm thinking about selling my trusty Canon S400 and purchasing its potential replacement, the Leica D-LUX 2. It's not as pocket-friendly as other ultra-compact digital cameras in the market, but it has some very interesting features that many in its class don't have, like image stabilization, an 8-megapixel 16:9 CCD sensor, manual exposure and focus options, and a 4X wideangle lens. All in a sexy semi-compact design.

Posted by Charlie at 07:06 PM | Comments (0)

Getting Disenchanted

Finding my own nice, livable place in NYC is going to take a long time, methinks. Actually, I know this for a fact: the housing situation in NYC is one very tough market. Check this story that I found on Craigslist, after the jump.

...A few years ago I answered an ad for a share near 89th and Broadway. It was offered by an older guy and the way he described it was wonderful, gourmet kitchen, railroad flat, closets, views. It was on the top floor of a four or five floor walk up.

I went to see it and was greeted by an old dirty looking guy. I should have left, but was suffering from the new New Yorker's politeness syndrome and didin't want to hurt his feelings. He showed me the front room. In it was a filthy cot where he slept. Nearby on a desk was a huge hunting knife in a sheath. I remember noting how strange it was there, but still didn't want to be impolite.

We walked toward the back of the apt along the hallway that went past each room and into the kitchen at the back. The room for rent was not vacated, held a strange bunkbed and had someone's things still in the room. Shabby would be the word for the look of things. The next room was the bathroom, even worse, and filthy. Made me wonder how the guy expected to rent the place. We entered the large kitchen and there was a very sullen Asian man, wiry and dragging on cigarettes standing there leaning against the counter. I was introduced, but the fellow was sullen and would not respond. I wondered about him. The old man said that was the roommate who was moving out.

Then the old man told me to have a seat and he started cutting a big carrot up for his very fat yellow dog. The dog was getting very excited about the carrot it seemed which the old man was cutting with an enormous knife. It was then I noticed that on the counter top that went along two walls of the kitchen were many many huge knives all laid out side by side. I started to get a very bad feeling.

Instincts came on full blast, and I suddenly jumped to my feet and started walking really fast to the front door. I didn't run but I wanted to. I yelled back to the old man that I would be right back and that I was just going to tell my driver to go ahead, since he was waiting for me downstairs. (There was no driver.) As I reached the front door I was confronted with about ten locks. Maybe I was blessed, maybe an angel was with me, but somehow, before the old man could catch up to me at the door, I had turned all the right locks and thrown open the door. The little old man was one foot behind me, running down the apt hallway yelling "but Susan, but Susan, are you coming back...?"

I laughed gaily, all the while propelled forward down the stairs in absolute terror, and told him I would be right back, just had to let my driver go. Once outside I rushed away and hoped he was not watching to see which way I went.

This is a true story. I know now I should have gone to the police. But part of me did not want to believe that I was almost killed - an element of denial protected me from the horror that I almost befell. I hope that no one else, no other woman looking for a home has fallen prey to those men...

Posted by Charlie at 03:24 PM | Comments (1)

October 01, 2005

Busy Busy Busy

Working, selling, laughing, walking, reuniting, packing, eating, sleeping, drinking, dancing, mourning, ****ing, ****ing, ****ing, ****ing. Busy times.

Posted by Charlie at 04:17 PM | Comments (0)