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July 30, 2004

Bisexual Porno Rockers Suck!!!

Yesterday was Libby's last night out in Seattle for a while; she's moving to Colorado to pursue an eight-year PHD program, that smart bitch. Booga was very enthused about some bisexual rocker from Brooklyn who is supposed to be like the male version of Avenue D. I like Avenue D, so it sounded like a good shot. Houston Bernard is his name, and boy did he suck big time. By the end of his set he had stripped down to his pink panties and was yelling about being horny and wanting to fuck holes holes holes. I stared at his crotch, but couldn't see an outline of an erection, so I think he was lying about being horny.

Okay, so after that Bernard Bisexual Porno Rockstar Whatever shot his wad over half the audience - I was thankfully off in the corner playing with his giant cock so I didn't get wet - Libby and I drove post-haste to Neighbors for two hours of dancing to really bad 80's music. If there is one thing I hate more than being the only sober one at a party full of drunkards, it's being the only sober one at a party full of sweaty/stinky/fat drunkards who have no sense of personal space. I usually own the dancefloor, but something about waving your arms to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go with all these people just didn't seem right that night. We left promptly as soon as Jessie's Girl came on.

On a brighter note, we finally FINALLY found a 24-hour McDonald's. Nothing beats chowing down on some chicken after a night of pseudo-dancing at 3 in the morning.

It's ironic that I'm pretty bushed today, considering I accomplished absolutely nothing last night.

Posted by Charlie at 02:35 PM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2004

Today: Louis Vuitton. Tomorrow: Meat Hooks?

All over America young people are taking off to the beach, picnic baskets and all, and setting up tripods and attaching themselves to meat hooks, enjoying the afternoon sun away as they dangle in the flowing breeze. Kinda like cargo pants, tiny knapsacks, or that late 1990's hairdo where guys' bangs flip up at their foreheads, I can't seem to understand the craze for this latest trend in outdoor recreation. I don't know... spending a nice Saturday afternoon looking like wet laundry set out to dry just doesn't seem like proper time managment. Plus, it kinda looks stupid.

Posted by Charlie at 04:50 PM | Comments (0)

July 26, 2004

Whoops.

Okay, so I inadvertantly registered for a class at SVC today. That means I will have to postpone any sort of vacationing for another month. Great. At least I'll be one piece closer to finalizing my portfolio.

Posted by Charlie at 04:15 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2004

Design Woes

Everytime I run into Jennifer on the street she's asking me how the MAVIN site is coming along. I had a dream last night that I handed the project over to Wilmer because I had just too much on my shoulders. When I woke up from the dream I didn't know whether to feel guilty or relieved. I think I should look into someone (willing to work pro-bono) to hop aboard the project with me.

So the album cover that I'm doing for Gerald's band is going to go into the hands of some really important people in the music industry. I don't know if I can name names, but after the meeting with him today I'm going to have to prioritize this project above all else. If his album catches the eye of these people then I know I'm hitting the big time. A guy can only dream...

Posted by Charlie at 09:02 PM | Comments (0)

LASIK

I've been following up on LASIK technology since there was no such thing as LASIK technology - back then the latest in vision enhancement technology was PRK. I think I was sixteen or seventeen years old back then, and I stumbled across a magazine article about a laser that can reshape your cornea so your vision is restored so that you wouldn't have to wear glasses or contacts again. I was excited, until I found out that you have to wait until your vision was stabilized (aka until you're around 23) to undergo the surgery. And so for the past six years I've been patiently waiting, researching on breakthroughs in the technology and talking to people who've been under the laser. Now that I'm 23, and my vision has for the most part stabilized, I'm offered an array of LASIK choices that was not available two years ago. I'm seriously considering finally going in for a consultation. Should I go with this procedure I will probably have to relinquish my D&G and Hiero glasses, but randomly accessorizing the face with $5 frames does not seem like a bad compromise at all. No, sir.

Posted by Charlie at 08:47 PM | Comments (0)

July 24, 2004

Gender Bombs

Okay, so the spodie wasn't as strong as last year's, but since Orlando Bloom yet again made an appearance at the barbeque everything was all good. The gigantic trampoline was a hit, although the hapas were the only ones jumping on it. Seriously. I think someone should write a dissertation on hapas and their fascination with things that make them bounce.

By the eighth cup of spodie I was ready to get my dance on. Mikey's going away party was that night as well, but I didn't want to be dragged further into the menial geriatrics of drama queens, so I (of course) decided to go to RPlace (as usual). At least I didn't get accosted by a Russian doctor this time.

The girl will scold you... Happy Birthday, Booga. Sisterhood 4EVA!

Posted by Charlie at 02:37 PM | Comments (0)

July 22, 2004

The Politics Of Phone Dating

Rule #1: You have to be really lonely and horny.
Rule #2: You live in sexually conservative locales like El Paso or Connecticut.
Rule #3: Be familiar with such eloquent sayings as, "box me up," "10-inch spaceship," and "suck my pussy."
Rule #4: When putting up your personals message, you get more responses if you breathe very deeply or if you sound like you're having an orgasm.
Rule #5: If you're a gay male and you're over 40 and you put your personals up on the chatline - there's a very good chance you like to engage in cross-dressing. (Not that I'm against it)
Rule #6: If you're a straight female you'll get more responses if you use words like "submissive," "servant," and the phrase, "I'll treat my man like a king."
Rule #7: No butch lesbians allowed on the chattline; only femmes, please.
and
Rule #8: White guys from the South really, really like Black cocks.

Posted by Charlie at 03:38 PM | Comments (0)

Blue..............................

Downsides: Staying up until 3 in the morning working; overdue deadlines; people all around me hooking up (except me!); haven't had a drink in five days; bosses not happy with me; Oanh and Libby leaving Seattle.

Upsides: My new Samsung P107; getting Ryan's message today; knowing that I'm gonna be visiting T. in August; knowing that I'm gonna be visiting SueJeanA in September; knowing that I'm gonna be visiting Cat in November; knowing that I have kick-ass friends who'll cover my back even if they're 2000 miles away.

Posted by Charlie at 01:31 AM | Comments (0)

July 19, 2004

The Little Bird That Could

Call me morbid, but I think it's just funny that the 6000-acre fire near Los Angeles was caused by a bird that caught fire when it hit power lines and fell to the ground. Twenty years from now I hope we can all chuckle over this.

Posted by Charlie at 03:02 PM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2004

Detoxin'

As the three little bois went in search of something fun and exciting to do on a Saturday night, they encountered many an exciting adventure. Boi Number One (let's call him Ken-Ken) is not yet of drinking age, so their options became severely limited. Surely there was something fun to do on a Saturday night that does not include a vodka martini, right?! Boi Number Two (let's call him Jare-Bear) suggested going to some all-ages concerts, and so began their quest for the perfect Saturday night.

Looking through a copy of The Stranger was fruitless; in this town, it seems, you have to be at least 21 years old to even have a decent social life. An hour after eating at the all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet, Boi Number Three (let's call him Char-Char) suggested catching some grub at Johnny's Rocket. Ken-Ken managed to scarf down one of Johnny's rockets, but Jare-Bear, disgusted at the sight of all that flesh, opted for more gag-reflex-friendly freedom fries. Meanwhile Char-Char delighted in taunting the little girl in the next booth with his Oreo milkshake. And it's like, better than hers.

After browsing through gay porno magazines; after being chased down the street by some guy who wanted to sell his bus tickets; after attempting to buy polka-dot panties at Victoria's Secret; the three little bois went to Jare-Bear's friend's birthday party. Evidently Jare-Bear's friend didn't have a lot of friend in Seattle, as the party was quieter than Char-Char's bed on a Saturday night. Ken-Ken didn't drink, and Char-Char didn't want to repeat the horrors of the night's prior, so it was up to Jare-Bear to take in as much margaritas as he could possibly can.

The night had ended rather quietly; by then it was two in the morning and Char-Char was getting tired. Alas, while their Saturday night may not have been the talk of the town, they saw many sights previously unseen, said many things previously unsaid, and learned many things previously unknown.

Posted by Charlie at 09:38 PM | Comments (0)

Butt-Face

I miss Ireneo.

Posted by Charlie at 09:10 PM | Comments (0)

Yesterday I Was An Internet Virgin

The problem with cybersex, I've just come to realize, is that it's cumbersome and quite annoying to try to type legibly with one hand while stroking yourself with the other. You're typing sayings that you wouldn't necessarily say in life, like "I raise my arms above my head and you start sucking my pits." So much work, and trying to stay turned on the entire time! Gimme the real thing any day. :)

Posted by Charlie at 09:01 PM | Comments (0)

My New Phone Number

I'm getting too many stalkers/admirers calling me to profess their love to me, so I'm getting a new phone number to hopefully derail them (at least for awhile).

Here's my new phone number: 1.206.303.7085 Update your address books, kiddies!

Posted by Charlie at 08:13 PM | Comments (0)

July 17, 2004

MANPLUS Cover Art

I'm feeling rather productive today. After last night's debaucherious trek through Chinatown and Capitol Hill I think I've exhausted my palate for alcohol. At least for the next few days anyway. The last thing I can distinctly remember from last night was showing off some random people some Pilates moves while Booga was grabbing on to my ankles. I'm just glad I didn't have to come in to work this weekend. I can finally concentrate on my design projects!

Jared wants the MANPLUS album to drop sometime next month, which means I'm in design overdrive mode. He has this obscure arts and crafts book from the 1960's and it's just filled with some amazing imagery. We decided on this really scary but curiously alluring photo of a girl with a paper bag mask. Hopefully this draft won't change much from the final version.

Now on to my next design project...

Posted by Charlie at 02:22 PM | Comments (0)

July 16, 2004

Martha Stewart and Me

I do wish Ms. Stewart the very best, I do. She was sentenced to five months in prison today for lying to investigators about her sale of ImClone stock shares 2001, finally concluding a whirlwind of a media circus that should be more concentrated on more pressing news in Iraq and the Senate. Even though she was not charged for the more serious crime of insider trading, because she is a famous media celebrity, people all over America have already cemented their opinions of her through magazines such as People and The National Enquirer.

In a country where the latest opening of Jennifer Lopez's restaurant gets way more press coverage than say, The Canadian National Election or the mysterious killings of women in Juarez, I feel ashamed to claim my American nationality. Sometimes. I don't like to watch TV anymore (unless Sex And The City is on).

Anywaysss... So for some good news resources, go to these great (if slightly progressively biased) sites for content: The Onion, The Village Voice, Asia Times and, just for its real estate section, The New York Times.

Rock on, Martha Stewart, rock on.

Posted by Charlie at 09:41 AM | Comments (0)

July 14, 2004

TypePad

HolyCrap is TypePad ever powerful. I'm in love with its features and its flexibilty in letting me change the design of this site, but I'm not sure if this is worth shelling out $140 a year when I can simply start up a free weblog on Xanga or LiveJournal. Thank goodness for this 30-day free trial run offer.

Posted by Charlie at 11:00 PM | Comments (0)

July 05, 2004

Dolce and Gabanna Grows Up

Last winter's 2004 collections from various designers signified a trend that can be documented today: prim is in. From double collared shirts to 1950's tweeds, America is covering up, one exposed body part a time. Gone are the hedonistic days when MTV's Spring Break shows ruled the airwaves. Being conservative (at least in fashion anyway) is currently in, and young people are disvcovering that being sexy does not necessarily mean showing off less. (or is it more...?)

Dolce and Gabbana, for example, are increasingly showcasing traditional suits in their collections and are slowly losing that radical edge that has made them famous initially (and has since been passed down to younger design houses like Saddlelite and Project E. What is happening? Is it because their core clientelle are finally ditching embroiddered jeans for more career-friendly work attire? When J Lindeberg left Diesel to start his own label, his collections became less concentrated on making a fashion statement than creating a label with pragmatic pieces.

Ahhh, the never-ending world of fashion! It almost feels pointless to document its changes as there are so many, but sometimes it's just fun to be deeply superficial for a while.

Posted by Charlie at 09:27 PM | Comments (0)

Catalina

To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever. -Henry Drummond

Posted by Charlie at 09:12 PM | Comments (0)

Uber-rich Asians and Michael Moore

We had dinner with some of my parent's uber-rich friends the other day. What an interesting lifestyle they lead. Their idea of dinner means taking their fabulous boat (which they bought as an impulse-purchase), riding out across the lake, and having a seven-course meal at what I must say is the best tasting Thai restaurant I have ever been to. Luckily these uber-rich individuals are also active Democrats, so we had many stimulating conversations concerning the upcoming election as well as Michael Moore's new film, which I still have to see.

Posted by Charlie at 09:03 PM | Comments (0)

July 01, 2004

Should I...

So today I received an email from a friend who thought that I was in Japan teaching for AEON. It was kinda funny, because she was in Nagoya teaching for another company and was on her way to Tokyo and wanted to meet up. I had to write this apologetic and somewhat awkward email explaining to her why I was not in Japan, and it got me thinking about what would've happened had I actually accepted the positions that AEON offered me. I'm recalling all the experiences that Catalina had on her excursion to Japan - hanging out with all the Australian kids in Roppongi; becoming fast friends with some pot smoker who designs mobile phones for Docomo; landing a recording contract; being asked by a rather famous artist if he would paint a portrait of her eyes - and I think, maybe I should've gone to Japan...

Naah!

Posted by Charlie at 11:51 AM | Comments (0)